I know, I've been MIA since August, which is about the time I headed back to work. Long story short, my hands have been quite full! But my heart has too.
We were blessed in August to find out that we now have Aaron and Jessi with us every other week, something we've been fighting for for four years. However, their mom moved to Salt Lake City and is having the kids go to school there. This means that every other week we drive to and from SLC twice a day. I was able to switch my work schedule to the morning kindergarten class so that Dan took care of the morning commute and me the afternoons. I've really missed having them go to school at Edgemont with me.
I have the most delightful class this year. I LOVE teaching. But teaching, commuting, and being a patient and wonderful mommy and wife as been so very stressful. So after a lot of inner-struggle and prayer in my heart I knew what needed to be done. . . I turned in my resignation. Monday will be my last day of work.
I've cried about it because I will miss my second "home" and "family" so much. Sometimes I'm afraid of how I'm going to manage not going crazy and getting too lonely as I stay home with three small demanding children. (Strange how having 27 students is so much easier than my five!) But of course, I'm also really looking forward to all the things I'll be able to do now.
One of the things that made me know I needed to resign was when I realized that I was being a better teacher to my students at school than to my own children. I would put so much thought into my lesson planning, yet teaching my own children haphazardly. One of my goals is to do more planning and organizing to make our household run better and to teach my children to have that same love of learning that I've always tried to instill in my students. Maybe I can teach my boys to love sleeping!!!
Well, better get to bed.
6 comments:
Kristen -
I was so happy to see your post. Several weeks ago I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I really felt prompted to pray for you and you have been in my prayers since then. I also felt prompted to send you a note in the mail, which I never did and now regret. I hope you are doing well. I know you are going to be blessed for your decision. It will be hard at first, but you won't regret it. The best work you can do will be within your own family. Those kids are blessed to have you as a mom. Just know that I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing well.
Congratulations on making that tough decision. It is so hard trying to balance all the things in our lives. Good for you in deciding to focus on your family. I know you will be blessed for your efforts.
So glad to see an update. I'm glad you've made this important decision for your family...it's definitely a hard one! One of the boys is sleeping through the night now...the other one is less than interested. Hope the boys are doing great!
I was just thinking about you today. :) I'm sure it was very hard for you to resign, but hopefully one day you'll be able to return. I miss working outside the house sometimes...and some days WAY more than others, but the time with your kids is something you'll never regret. (You might have to repeat that to yourself at times...) :)
One thing I find helps me is reading blogs and Facebook...they help me stay connected with friends and it sometimes feels I'm getting adult interaction on days I don't really get it. :)
What a difficult and brave decision. I have really missed working... especially the kids I worked with and the challenges they presented. Funny how that same fulfillment doesn't translate as well to my own demanding children! :) You will love it and hate it, I'm sure... but, as with all prayerful decisions, you will be eternally grateful.
What a hard decision! You will be an excellent stay at home mom!! Lucky kids and luck you! Good luck!!
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